What do we do with this term “forgiveness”? What is it? Do we truly practice it? Are we withholding it from someone? What does forgiveness look like? What does it feel like? How do I know I’ve forgiven someone? When should we forgive someone?
Ever struggled with one or more of these questions? I’m not silly enough to tackle the entire topic of forgiveness in just one post, but I do want to address where I’m at and what the Bible says… so, I will, in a somewhat awkward and incomplete fashion attempt to address the last question, and see how this comes out.
In Luke 17:3-4, Jesus discusses forgiveness from the aspect of timing. He says that if your brother sins, rebuke him, and IF HE REPENTS, forgive him. Have you ever found that as interesting as I have? “If” is a BIG word for only having 2 letters… Jesus said IF your brother repents. Does that free us from granting forgiveness until the individual who offended us repents? AND, what does it mean to repent?? Let’s dig a little deeper.
Repentance is a change of mind which leads to a change of action. It involves sincerely turning from your sin and turning to God… it includes sorrow for what you’ve done, as well as confession of what you’ve done – AND, where possible, restitution is present. True repentance is life-changing AND life-saving, as can be seen throughout the Bible. The people of Nineveh were confronted with their sin, and they repented – and God withheld his judgment because their repentance was a SINCERE turning from their sin and to Him; they had sorrow for it; they confessed it; AND, their life was saved because of it… So, repentance, then, would seem pretty apparent to the one who has been offended – it should be obvious in the persons actions, words, and tone that they are truly repentant.
The hard thing about this passage is verse 4 – if someone sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times they repent (TRUE repentance!!), forgive them. WOW!! seven times? in one day? And STILL forgive them? Yes. WHY?!?! Jesus said it. He didn’t say the SAME sin was committed seven times… just sin. I know there has been a day or two in my life where I committed more than one sin in a day, and I’m THANKFUL Jesus forgives when I repent (even if I wind up committing the same sin later in the week/month/etc).
Now, back to this statement “if.” What do we do with that? Can I NOT forgive if the one who has offended doesn’t repent? Technically, based on these verses, yes. But what happens if I don’t forgive? Will I harbor frustration, which will lead to bitterness, which will lead to anger, which may lead to rage, and more sin… we’ve all been there. We have been offended, and instead of making a concerted effort to forgive, we just “let it go” or we choose to not deal with it… inevitably, we will be reminded about that offense at some point later, and all the frustration, hurt, and anger comes back nearly instantaneously. At least, I know I’VE been there. So what do we do with that? What if the person never repents? Do we just hold on to a grudge?
I’m going to again (and hopefully ALWAYS) look back to Jesus… Luke 23:34 tells us exactly what Jesus did in this instance… we don’t read of the Romans or Jews asking His forgiveness as they nailed Him to the cross, and yet He says, “Father, forgive them…” wow. What an example to follow.
So, what do we do with forgiveness? Grant it – release it from your heart so you can live free. Praise His name. Allow not just your words, but your actions speak truth into the lives of those around you. I was challenged with this earlier today, and so I pass the challenge along – “lead with love.”
